Split Pants

So sorry for the long delay since my last entry! I had really hoped to get this post up before Christmas- sort of a special gift to everyone but now you can consider this my New Year's greeting to all.

Without a doubt the biggest cultural difference I noticed upon coming to China is their use of "split pants" on their kids. I don't know the official name but this is what I call them as it literally fits the bill. From the front, they look like any other pants but the back is split all the way up the back seam of the butt so that the child's little rear end is on full display. Why? I asked this question many times until I finally found someone to explain it to me.

The Chinese believe that you can start potty training your child from about 4 months old. Crazy to us Americans but they swear by it here. They believe that every kid will start to give subtle clues when they need to go to the bathroom as early as 4 to 6 months. Also, by not using diapers they completely avoid nasty diaper rashes and it is better for the environment of course. But in my opinion, you have a host of other problems instead. For example, hygienically speaking, I think it's disgusting. Although some parents will throw on a diaper if they take their kid to the store, I have seen more than my fair share of bare butts on shopping carts. And as every parent knows, your kid WILL have accidents while potty training but as you can imagine, if your kid is in split pants the accidents happen in the middle of the sidewalk or worse yet, on the floor of the mall (yes, I have witnessed this). Sev and I have a running joke when we see poop on the sidewalk- is it human or animal? It's a toss up.

I have mentioned the chronic problem of public urination here but my latest theory is that it stems from split pants. As soon as a child indicates they need to go, their mother's take them to the nearest bush and lift them up to assume the position. The position consists of the mom holding the child with the kids back against her chest and then putting her arms behind the kids knees and lifting the child's knees to it's chest. This then splays out the kids genitals so they can whizz without getting anything on themselves. A lovely view for all to see. And if their are no bushes around, they will use whatever is available. I have seen mom's letting their kids pee in garbage cans and once, in a plastic bag at the indoor playground (even though their was a toilet just one floor up).

So that is the story of split pants in a nutshell. It was a tough decision but we have decided to stick with diapers for Audrey- at least for now! Sorry the below pics aren't better but it's tough to get a clear shot without looking like a pedophile.

Backless shorts- a new fashion trend?

Split pants in the mall- shortly after I took this pic, the kid peed on the floor and the parents just left it there and walked away.

A youngster displaying the full moon.

Cock fight

Get your mind out of the gutter kids; it's not what you think. While flipping through channels on our illegal satellite (it's broadcast from the Philippines) we stumbled upon cock fighting. On one of the sports channels. At first, we were intrigued. What's the big deal and why is it illegal in the U.S.? Well, after 3 minutes of watching, we found out why. It's a fight to the death. And, to make it really interesting, the bird owners fasten a curved blade onto one of the cock's legs so that when they go at each other they are obviously inflicting serious damage each time. It's a violent and bloody "sport". Even Sev agreed that it was disgusting. And apparently a big business in the Philippines as there are several people in the audience and they can bet on the cock of their choice. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox but I thought you would enjoy reading about the cultural differences of TV over here in Asia!
P.S.- Here is a teaser for the next blog entry: Split pants...I promise to blog about this before Christmas so check back soon.

Cluck, cluck.

Every morning on the way to take Grace to school I see the chicken lady. Actually, she is more like the poultry lady since she also sells ducks. Live poultry- sold off the back of her bike. The ducks have their feet bound so they can't wander away and are displayed on the sidewalk. The chickens are crammed into cages one on top of the other. This scene in itself is enough to disturb me. I eat chicken and of course I know they are all alive at one point and then slaughtered. It's just that I don't really want to see my dinner walking around before I eat it.

But the real kicker came just the other day when we got stuck in traffic (big shock, I know) right in front of the chicken lady. A customer walked up and chose a chicken. I then watched in horror as the chicken was slaughtered with a dirty knife over a styrofoam box (to catch the blood) and then plucked. All this right on the street corner. I am just guessing that it probably isn't too sanitary. And you too can get your very own freshly slaughtered chicken for about $3.50- what a bargain.

Chickens & pigeons for sale off the back of the bike; ducks waiting to be served for dinner

Things that STILL surprise me...

Believe it or not, we have already been here 4 months. Time flies when your having fun. And although I have gotten used to many things here, I still have days that surprise me. I'll share some examples (and these all took place just this week). First of all, I went to an Indiana University alumni meeting the other night and I decided to brave the subway by myself. Things started off just fine- I bought my ticket, got a seat, and settled in for the 20 minute ride. About two stops later, the train started to get pretty full- it was rush hour so this is to be expected. At the third stop the doors opened and several people literally sprinted onto the train and started elbowing each other out of the way as they rushed for the last remaining seat. The victorious passenger claimed his seat with a smirk while I stared in disbelief. I had just witnessed the adult version of musical chairs- I felt like I was watching a group of second graders. By the time we got to my stop and I stood up to try to push my way to the door, I could barely breathe because were so many people crushed against me. I now understand how people can get trampled in a crowd because had I fallen down, there was no way I would have been able to stand up again.
Ok, enough about the subway. Shock number two came this week when I went in for an appointment with my TCM (traditional chinese medicine) doctor for my back -I have a new doc now who is much better but that's another story. My appointment was at 1:30 and I arrived about 1:15pm. I knew I had to pay before the appointment but when I attempted to hand over my money at the registration desk, the nurse told me I was not allowed to pay because it was too early. I patiently tried to explain that yes, I knew my appointment was at 1:30 but I would like to pay now and wait until 1:30 to see the doctor. "No, it is too early- you must wait until 1:30 to pay". Four months ago I would have pitched a fit but now I know better. I threw my hands up in the air and sat down to wait. At exactly 1:30 the nurse came over to me and told me that I could now pay. Great. And of course as I stood at the cashier's desk to pay, at least 3 people tried to cut in front of me. Argh! I'll never get used to that cultural difference here.
And speaking of cultural differences I still cannot get over the spitting thing. I've mentioned it before in a previous post but it never ceases to amaze me. I was at the grocery store today and while I was checking out another customer walked past me and spat on the floor. In the grocery store. I proceeded to give him my patented "death look" to which he simply responded to by smiling back at me and nodding his head. He had no idea why I had given him the evil eye. That's when I had my "A-Ha" moment- China may be modernizing at the speed of light but some things will never change- like spitting. Oh well! If you can't beat 'em...well, you know the rest.

Beijing

To tell you the truth, before this opportunity came up for us I really never had a burning desire to see China. But now that we are here, I want to see as much as possible and first on the agenda was Beijing. We went for a long weekend since the flight is only 2 hours from Shanghai. Although we didn't get to see as much as we wanted with the kids in tow, it was still a great trip and we were in awe of the sights. They are working hard to get everything cleaned up for the Olympics but they have a long way to go. For example, we landed at the airport and instead of getting a jetway, we had to board a bus to get to the terminal. Fine. But it was cold outside and we were at the back of the plane so by the time we got off the one bus they had waiting was packed to the gills. I mean it was like a clown car- you literally could not squeeze one more person on there and there was no way we were going to try it with the kids. As the bus pulled away, I asked the flight attendant how long before the next bus would be there - 10 minutes. This may not seem like a long time to wait but standing on a runway in 40 degree weather with a strong wind and two little kids will make it seem like an eternity. The classic part of the whole situation is that there was another bus sitting right there with a driver in it but they wouldn't let us on- not even to wait out of the cold. Typical. I was just picturing the plane loads of people from all over the world landing there for the Olympics and standing outside in 100 degree heat waiting for buses. Yet another reason we have decided we don't want to be anywhere near Beijing next summer.

Anyway, overall it was a fun trip- it seems a little crazy that we can hop on a plane for a weekend trip and walk the Great Wall of China! Enjoy the pictures.

Sev at the Temple of Heaven.

Inside the Forbidden City (home of China's Emporers).

The Great Wall- we got there early so for a change, there were very few tourists.

Sev and Grace in front of the entrance to the Forbidden City and a lovely portrait of Mao.

Hooters vs. Bubbas (a.k.a. Hooters part 2)

I had such an overwhelming response on the last Hooters blog I thought I would just add a few last comments. Based on the many email requests I got for photos (granted, most of the requests were from the same person- you know who you are) I am also adding not only photos but a video! Yahoo!

I also had to mention a place we found last week called "Bubba's Texas Style BBQ". Based on previous experiences with Western food in Shanghai, I was a bit nervous to try it. Especially based on the outside appearance- it's a little scary. But once inside, we were magically transported to a little dive bar reminiscent to those visited in our youth. Big 10 football flags decorated the walls along with old Texas license plates and some good old country music. But the best part was the FOOD. It was seriously one of the best BBQ's I've ever had (as evidenced by the 4 pounds of meat we ate among 5 people- and one of the five is a vegetarian)!

Ribs that melt in your mouth, a pile of pulled pork worth writing home about (umm, I guess I am writing home about it), and of course some great micro brew beers imported straight from the US. We were in heaven- check out the photos and believe me, this place will be on the agenda if any of you actually get yourselves over here for a visit!

Now the question is- which is better, Bubba's or Hooters??? I guess we'll just have to keep going back to both until we decide.

Grace and her favorite waitess at Hooters (that's Sev's beer in the pic, not Grace's).

Audrey peruses the menu- will it be the spicy chicken or the wings?

Bubba's exterior

Our friends about to dig into the meat feast.

Four pounds of meat later- we were all paying for it the next day!

My top 10 list

Today I was feeling a little homesick so I decided to make my top 10 list of the things I miss about living in the USA. Of course my family and friends are the thing I miss the most but this list focuses on the things that may surprise you.
#10- Shopping. I was never a huge shopper but now that it is such a pain in the neck to do any kind of shopping (grocery included) I find that I really miss it! My number one complaint is that nothing here is made to fit western sizes so doing any type of clothes shopping for anyone over a size 4 is virtually impossible. Sev just keeps reminding me of all the money I'm saving by not being able to buy new clothes...
#9- Voicemail. I have no idea why but there is no voicemail here for cell phones and most home/office phones. This leads to people calling and letting the phone ring incessantly in the hopes that someone will pick up.
#8- Hollywood. Both movies and gossip. Ok, so it was a guilty pleasure to follow along with the Brittany Spears saga but to say that I am now out of the loop is an understatement.
#7- Noise restrictions. There is a bar across the street from us where they like to set off fireworks (the kind so big they'd be illegal in every state in the US) pretty often and usually after 9pm. I'd love to call someone and complain but let's face it- I can't since I don't speak Chinese and I've lived here long enough to know if won't do any good anyway.
#6- Non-smoking restaurants. Self explanatory.
#5- Road rules. As in there are none here. This morning traffic was backed up as usual and several cars took it upon themselves to cross the double yellow line into oncoming traffic and make themselves a new lane which of course only served to back up traffic in the opposite direction as well. Have I mentioned how much I hate the traffic here???
#4- Toilet paper in public bathrooms. Sure, you'll come across a bathroom that has run out in the the US but here, it's a pleasant surprise if you can find T.P. in the bathroom. Not only that but the plumbing sucks so most places provide a garbage pail in every stall for your used T.P. so that it doesn't clog the toilet. You can imagine the smell in the summer heat- yum.
#3- Good pizza. There is Pizza Hut and Papa John's here but they have "China-fied" it. That is, tailored the taste to suit the masses here and it is not so good (i.e. tuna fish is a popular topping here). We've yet to find a really good pizza although it has now become a personal quest of mine.
#2- TIVO! And along with it, all the great shows that I am missing like Heroes, The Office, Ugly Betty, and Grey's Anatomy. Not to mention Sunday football- GO PACK GO!!! Figures that the Packers are having one of their best seasons ever and we can't watch a single game. ARGH.
#1- Fresh Air. What I wouldn't give for a good long whiff of Minnesota air. Yeah the pollution here is not as bad as I thought it would be (sometimes, we can actually see the moon and stars) but it sure isn't good.

Well, there's my list in a nutshell. And just for fun, I thought I would try a new feature of adding a video. Please email me and let me know if it works. It has nothing to do with my top 10 list but I know everyone will get a kick out it.
Found this for sale at a recent trip to the market. Yes, it's meant to be eaten...

I just got cupped

I am trying to live by a new philosophy :"When in China, do like the Chinese". But sometimes I do something and afterwards I think it probably wasn't such a good idea. I'll give you an example. Last week my back was really bothering me. It was so bad that if I bent the wrong way I would literally cry out in pain. One of my Chinese friends, Jason, swears by this traditional Chinese medicine doctor so upon hearing of my predicament, he talked me into going with him to see her. He warned me that she is currently living with her elderly father so their place isn't so nice and she is retired so she works out of her dad's apartment. Ok, I thought- what a great opportunity to see how the locals really live.

Most people would have turned and ran at the doorway. We entered in through a rusty old gate and then went up two flights of narrow concrete slab stairs. Upon entering the apartment we found ourselves standing in a very small kitchen. The lone bathroom was adjacent to the kitchen. To the right was a small bedroom (maybe 8ft x 8ft) which was also doubling as the "treatment room". To the left was a second bedroom- maybe 9ft X9 ft. The walls were in dire need of paint, there was no washing machine (I am assuming they did their laundry by hand which is pretty common here), and I imagine the place got quite a draft in the winter.
A man was standing outside the apartment shouting something over and over in Chinese which Jason translated as "Who has knives and scissors they need to have sharpened?" Damn, I had left my scissors at home.
Anyway, on to the appointment. We gave the doctor no prior information about my condition before the appointment. The doctor looked at my tongue and then felt my pulse. She proceed to correctly diagnose that I had both lower back pain and neck pain, that I got headaches and once in a while I got dizzy when I stood up. Spot on. Freaky. She said I had back pain because I didn't rest for one month after I had my kids (the Chinese believe that you should basically lay in bed and eat for one month after you have a kid). True, true. She said she would do both acupuncture and "cupping".
There are two types of cupping- one involves being bled and one does not. I said under no uncertain circumstances was I doing anything that involved bleeding since she doesn't wear gloves and even an untrained eye could see that it wasn't the most sanitary place. Fine, she said but it wouldn't work as well. I'll take my chances I said. I laid down and she did a very intense massage on my back which was pretty painful but bearable. Then she did the acupuncture. I have had acupuncture a few times in the US and it never hurt. This time however, was another story. (Note that the needles were new and out of a package so no worries for all you fellow germ freaks out there). She put the needles right into my lower back and I think she must have hit my sciatic nerve because a wicked pain shot down my leg all the way to my toes. She claimed that was a good thing and it meant my body was releasing the back pain. Whatever. Then she proceeded to cup me. This entailed placing glass cups (kind of looked like a beaker from science class) all over my back and then sucking my skin up into the cup. It didn't hurt but the effect is like getting a giant hickey.


She charged me $30 for an hour and a half of treatment- pretty cheap. At the end of the day, my back did start to feel better the next day but it may have cleared up on its own anyway. We'll never know. Would I go back there? Probably not but it was definitely an experience to remember.




A hickey explosion on my back after traditional Chinese medicine treatment.

Halloween- Chinese style.

Halloween is a purely American holiday as far as I can tell. Nobody else celebrates it the way we do. I had resigned myself to skipping the festivities this year, figuring the kids were too young to know the difference anyway. But one day I noticed a flyer had been posted by our apartment management that there would be a Halloween celebration on Tuesday, October 30th. Why not actually on Halloween day you may ask? I don't know but you take what you can get around here.

First, I had to sign up to hand out candy since most Chinese don't get it and don't want a bunch of kids ringing their doorbell. I was given a sticker to put on our mailbox to indicate that we were participating. So far, so good. I bought my candy (the good stuff- bite sized snickers) and Sev manned the door while I took the kids to the festival. It started out with a great puppet show which was really good but over an hour long. Imagine telling a bunch of kids that they get to go around collecting candy but not until after the HOUR long puppet show. The plan was to break the kids up into groups of 10 so that they could be accompanied around by someone from the apartment management (since our key cards only work at our own buildings there is no way to get into the other towers). But in typical Chinese fashion, they didn't split up the kids prior to the event and everyone wanted to be in the first group so it basically ended up being a totally unorganized roving gang of hundreds of kids. Imagine trying to cram all these kids and parents on the elevators to get them up to the participating apartments- not good. Not to mention that nobody had any idea how many kids to expect and so most people ran out of candy shortly after the event started.

Since this was the first time many Chinese parents and kids had done Halloween, they didn't really get the full concept. For example, many of the kids came without a bag to put their candy in. And they didn't know how to say "trick or treat" so they would just ring the bell and stick out their hand. It was pretty funny. It was also the first time many of the Chinese residents had handed out candy. Remember when you would go trick or treating and the old people would give out the gross stuff that was always the last thing left at the bottom of your bag after you ate all the good stuff? Well, that was pretty much what everyone was giving out here (i.e. coffee flavored hard candy). Thank goodness Grace was satisfied just hitting 3 apartments and Audrey had signed out half way through the puppet show.

Perhaps next year (if we are still here) I will volunteer to organize the event and give them a taste of what an American Halloween should really look like- but then again, maybe I'll just sit back and let the events unfold in typical Chinese fashion- it certainly makes for a more entertaining experience!

MMM- Shrimp flavored candy. One of the many treats Grace got from her Chinese neighbors.

We dressed the kids as the month of March- in like a lion and out like a lamb.

Grace and her friend Sara from Italy.

Our little lamb (thanks to my mom for making this costume for Grace a couple years ago!).

Shanghai Fashion

Considering that Shanghai is one of the largest and wealthiest cities in China, it makes sense that many people here are quite fashionable in their choice of clothing. Especially the under 40 crowd. But I have noticed a disturbing trend that seems to be getting worse now that the weather is cooler. Sev and I call it the "Pajama Fashion". People of all ages go about their daily business in head to toe woven PJ's. Plaids, Disney prints, florals, whatever- anything goes as long as you match your top and bottom. I was cracking up the first time I saw someone doing their food shopping in the local mega mart in their jammies. I am still not sure if they just roll out of bed and go about their business or if they actually choose to put on a new outfit when they get up in the morning. They bike around town in these outfits as well. Men and women- the pajama fashion does not discriminate.


The other scary fashion that we are thankfully seeing less of now that the weather is cooler is the men in half shirts. Many of the Shanghainese men will roll up their t-shirts to chest level when it is hot out to help themselves cool off. Yuck. I really don't want to see a bunch of Chinese guys running around town doing their best impression of Daisy Duke (unless of course they've got a 6 pack of abs to go along with it but alas, I have yet to see any male eye candy wandering the streets with their shirts rolled up).

Pajama fashion in a local vegetable market (note the wedgie pick to go along with it)


I'm too sexy for my shirt. EWWW.

Bicycle culture

One of the first things that comes to mind for most people when they think of China is bicycles. And it's true- nearly every person here owns a bike and for many people, it is the only mode of transportation that they can afford. We have seen some crazy things being carried around town on the back of people's bicycles including a full sized couch, refrigerator, & several mattresses piled high.
For many people their bike is like their home office. The recycling here is done by people who ride around on their bikes with a bell or a megaphone collecting cardboard and bottles for recycling (they pay a nominal fee for what they collect and then they turn around an sell it to a recycling center). Many entrepreneurs peddle their wares (no pun intended) off the back of their bikes. If you can haul it, you can sell it. Again, I've seen things for sale ranging from live chickens, rabbits, ducks, and turtles, to fresh fruit, to socks & slippers, to hair accessories- kind of like a traveling "Clair's Boutique". And of course everything is negotiable. Even the mail carriers do most of their deliveries on their bikes.
My favorite thing of all is the bike where the garbage is piled so high on the back that you wonder how they can even peddle- I am not exaggerating when I tell you I've seen things piled up 8 to 10 feet tall.
And I can't blog about bikes without mentioned scooters- the second most preferred mode of transport here. Helmets are optional. The first thing that strikes you is the crazy outfits they wear in the summer including gloves and capes to protect from the sun and huge welding shields instead of sun glasses. The second crazy thing is that they pile on as many people as possible- our record spotting so far is two adults, two kids, and a dog all on one scooter. It is common place here to see children on scooters with no helmet and I've seen quite a few mom's cradling their newborns while they balance precariously on the back of their husband's scooter. At first I was shocked- don't they know how dangerous that is? But Sev pointed out that if you had to go somewhere and you couldn't afford a taxi, you'd do it too. Good point.

A good example of "bike wear" in the summer.

The recycling bike

The sock seller bike

The bike nap.

Traffic.

I know that I have mentioned the awful traffic here in Shanghai in my previous blogs but it is difficult to impress on anyone who hasn't been here how truly terrible it really is. If a trip by car should take you 20 minutes, you have assume it will be 45 minutes to be on the safe side. And if it's raining- forget about it. On top of that, fender benders happen constantly- on a recent trip we saw 6 accidents in a 2 hour span. And yes, there are a lot of cars on the road but the driving skills just aren't up to western standards. Here are some examples:

- If you are waiting at a red light to turn left, and it turns green you just go. Yes, you turn in front of on coming traffic that is going straight. And as many cars as possible will turn until finally the cars going straight block their way.

- If you are getting off at an exit and it is backed up, you simply get out of the line and drive to the front of the line and try to cut in. Fine if it was just one car doing this but several cars try to do it at once so that the one lane exit actually becomes 4 or 5 lanes of cars trying to get over which of course leads to backups on the highway and more traffic jams.

- It is not uncommon to see cars backing up on the exit ramps of the highway because they realized they took a wrong turn- scary.

- It is OK to make a u-turn anywhere, anytime and most drivers don't bother to look around to see if other cars are going to stop for them- they just assume you will.

- If you are making a right turn into traffic, you just go. You don't stop and wait for an opening.

In general, people just drive however they want to and they act like they are the only ones on the road.

Plus, it isn't just car traffic - it's people traffic. We recently went for a day trip to Hangzhou which is a lake town about 2 hours drive from Shanghai (of course, it took us 4 hours to get there). Anyway, we made the mistake of going during a holiday here which I am sure contributed the crowds but take a look at the picture below to get an idea of what I mean when

I say crowded.

Wall to wall people in Hangzhou.

Rush hour traffic in Shanghai. We finally decided to get out of the car and take the metro after sitting in this for 20 minutes and moving about 100 yards.

Happy Birthday Audrey!

Time really does seem to fly by- it seems like it was only yesterday that Audrey was born! Considering that she is the second kid and we have about half the pictures and videos of her than we have of Grace at the same age, we decided that we would actually have a little party for her. In the Chinese culture, the first birthday is a big deal so we tried to incorporate a few traditional Chinese customs into the celebration.

First of all, the baby must wear red as this is the color of luck. Next, it is traditional to celebrate with a dinner for family and friends and one of the things I love about restaurants in China is the "private room". Many mid & upper end places offer a private room you can reserve. All have a round table (another tradition- no square tables so that everyone can see each other) and most have a giant lazy susan in the middle so you can easily share your dishes. The best part is that dinner with Grace becomes much easier when we can shut the door and let her run around the room or plop her in front of her DVD player (I am not proud of it but yes, we have become THOSE parents who let their kid watch the DVD in a restaurant- as long as it keeps her quite and sitting in one place).

Our Chinese friends brought Audrey some traditional gifts including a red pocket (basically a red envelope with money in it), a little silver bracelet, and a red necklace with a tiny gold charm on it. And being that we are in China, I thought it would be fun to commemorate with a custom made panda bear cake (see pics).

Even though it was a motley crew of guests- Sev's boss from the US, our friends who live here but are from Minnesota and a couple of their friends who had just flown in the day before, and our Chinese friends- a good time was had by all. Hope you enjoy the pictures!

The 3D Panda Cake & Audrey in her traditional red silk dress.

Audrey showing off her first piece of jewlery. Audrey & Grace take a spin on the lazy susan.

Audrey and Mommy. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to (Audrey and her Ayi).

Who's up for Hooters?

I've mentioned the great array of food choices here in Shanghai (both good and bad) but despite all the great local cuisine sometimes I just crave a good, old fashioned, heart clogging meal involving lots of red meat and deep fried food. Just the other day Sev asked me where we should go to eat and I promptly replied "You know, I am just DYING to go to Hooters". What? Did that actually just come out of my mouth? Sev just laughed and replied that he had been waiting years to hear me say that. Sad but true- the best burger I have found here in China so far is at Hooters. And it is actually a very fun, family place to go here. Sev really enjoys it because with our two kids, all the waitresses congregate at our table to coo over the girls. And of course they bend over while entertaining the children which affords Sev a great view of their push up bras (Chinese ladies tend to be a little flatter chested than us busty American gals). Anyway, everyone leaves happy- Grace gets a balloon, Audrey gets passed around the restaurant to all the servers, I get my burger, and Sev gets...well, you know... an eye full ;)
So, here's to Hooters- may this bastion of American culture live long and prosper here in Shanghai.

Chinese Security

I must preface this blog by telling everyone that Shanghai is extremely safe for a big city. Crime is very low and limited to minor things like pick pocketing. As you can imagine, the penalty for committing crimes in China is pretty rough. I noticed that there is a lot of security around most buildings which I find funny considering how safe it is here. Our apartment complex has several security guards posted at the entrances plus a wall around the entire complex with electric fencing at the top and electronic monitoring. But today's blog is about the less expensive way to protect yourself. Follow instructions below for your very own Chinese security system:

1) Gather up some glass bottles and jars- any type will do.


2) Smash them up so you have some nice big shards (discard any pieces that are too small).


3) Mix up some cement and apply to the top of the wall you want to protect.


4) While cement is still wet, stand the individual glass shards straight up in the cement.


5) Let cement dry.


You now have your own security system- who needs barbed wire? Plus, what a great way to go green and recycle all those glass bottles.


See pictures below for clarification if the instructions were too difficult.

The dreaded "Body Check"

Today was one of our "Why did we move here again?" days. Getting a 1 year work visa for Sev and accompanying family has been no easy process. Part of the visa application involves a required "body check" for both Sev and me. And oh what fun it was. Our appointment (and I use that term loosely) was 10am; however, upon arrival we found out that the appointment time was the time at which we would be granted a number in order to wait for the exam- not the time at which the exam would commence. We were number 90 and they were serving number 50. Oh, and we weren't allowed to eat or drink anything prior to the exam so I was already crabby going into it. Finally, our numbers were called. Sequence of events is listed below:
Room #1: Height/weight. "Take off all clothes to your waist. No bra." Nurse hands us a robe and shows us to the changing room. By the way, I've lost 6 lbs since I've been here so at least something good has come out of living here.
*Note that in between each room, you have to sit in the hallway with a bunch of other foreigners in their robes- everyone looking anxious and wondering what's next.
Room #2: Blood draw. Four other patients in the room at the same time while you are being stabbed in the arm. Awkward.
Room #3: Ultrasound of the chest. "Lay down. Open robe". Freezing cold gel. I'm not happy.
Room #4: Xray of the chest. I am sure they are using 10 times the amount of radiation necessary.
Room #5: ECG. "Lay down. Open robe". Nurse hooks up a bunch of wires to my arms, legs, and chest. Coincidentally, my stress level is up at this point and I am sure it showed up on my test results.
Room #6: Eye check. Self explanatory.
Room #7: Blood pressure; stethoscope; "Lay down. Open robe"; general health questions- at least the nurse speaks english.
Room #8: Thank you for coming. You now have to pay $100 USD per person to get your results. I think the bill at the end was the most violating part of the exam!
Ultimately, a very well organized process even though you go through feeling like a heard of cattle. At least we don't have to do it again until next year!

Home at last!

And, we're back. Sorry for the one week delay but we were busy moving to our new place. We've lived in our new apartment for about 5 days now and amazingly, there have been no problems- imagine that. And, we have discovered that you really can cook a meal in China without the window open and not die of carbon monoxide poisoning. Amazing. Our apartment is 3 bedrooms plus a study/office, two bathrooms, dining room, living room, and a pretty good sized kitchen. It's 180 sq meters (1900 sq feet). I know I mentioned this in my last post, but the complex is a kid's paradise. There is a sand beach the size of 2 tennis courts, 3 huge outdoor playgrounds (which are actually not covered in rust and sharp edges like most playgrounds I have encountered here), and a large indoor playground with a ball pit- think MacDonald's playland. Plus, I'd guess that about 20% of the residents are western so people don't stare at our kids here because they are used to seeing caucasions. Anyway, attached are a few new pictures from our new place. The best part is that the management speaks english and all the signs are in english and mandarin. It's like living in a nice hotel.

The other funny thing about living abroad is that the translations into english are often very incorrect and usually humorous. I saw a t-shirt the other day that said "A shoe saved my life". Attached are a couple of photos from two shops right outside our complex that will help illustrate my point.

The view of our complex courtyard from our balcony (7th floor). Our kitchen.

Our living room & dining room.

The outdoor pool at our apartment.

Funny sign for a restaurant. Somehow, I doubt they paid the licensing fees to use Jerry's picture.

At first, I wasn't sure if this was an "adult toy" store, a baby boutique, pet shop, or office supply store (or a combination of all 4). Turns out it is a pet groomer. Who would have thought?

Homeless (sort of).

No Chinese culture lesson today kids. Just an update that we moved out of our apartment today and we are now in temporary housing in a furnished apartment. We signed a lease at a new place but we can't move in until Wednesday so we are crammed in here with all our crap until then. Sev and I couldn't believe how much stuff we actually had until we had to pack it all up. Meanwhile, the landlord of our old apartment is an evil lady who won't give us back our 2 month security deposit even though we could have died from the gas leak. Whatever. On a positive note, our new place is bigger and nicer than the old one and in a very kid friendly complex with both indoor & outdoor pools and indoor & outdoor playgrounds. If you want the new address, just email me and let me know. You can email me directly from the blog (I think you just click on my profile and my email address is there). Also, Grace is starting her bilingual school on Monday and I will start my mandarin lessons on Monday as well. Audrey will probably speak mandarin before english since her nanny only speaks to her in chinese & Sev is picking up quite a bit at work. We are hoping our whole family will be speaking Chinese by next summer!

Rules of the road (or lack thereof).

One of the biggest cultural shocks I had here was the traffic. Not only is it like LA times ten with the amount of traffic jams but people drive like absolute maniacs. The other day, our driver was turning left and we were in some bad traffic. He promptly hopped over into the lane going straight, jetted to the front of the left turn lane (past about 50 cars) and cut over in the middle of the intersection so that we were the first in line to make a left. And no one batted an eye.

Even scarier than riding in a car here is being a pedestrian - a.k.a. speed bump. Remember the Atari game in the 1980's called "Frogger"? Well, trying to cross the street here is like being the frog. All intersections have a pedestrian walk symbol but it does not mean it is safe to cross the street, only that it is safer than usual. For example, you get the walk symbol and step off the curb. Your first obstacle is the bikes and scooters which blatantly disregard all traffic laws and pedestrians. If you make it past the scooter lane alive, you then have to watch out for cars making a right hand turn because they have the right of way over people. By this time, you are in the middle of the intersection when the cars on the opposite side of the street get the green light to make a left- and then you just run for your life. See? Frogger.

My latest strategy is to wait until a crowd of locals has gathered on the curb. Then I nestle myself in the middle of the group and wait for them to go. I figure that way, if we get hit, I am at least a little insulated in the middle of the pack. Anyway, it's worked so far. And Sev is living in his fantasy world that he is going to get a drivers license here. For now, I let him dream.

By the way, Sev and I went out for an awesome steak dinner for his birthday so I am attaching some photos of the view from our table.

A typical "merge" on the highway.

A view of the TV tower (it's pink and lit up with multicolors at night).

Part of the skyline & the Huangpu river

Because Americans cook differently...

Just a short update today since I will be busy looking for a new apartment. Yes, the carbon monoxide problem is back although it only happens if we use our stove. In other words, as long as we don't want to eat any hot food everything is honky dory. When we contacted our landlord about this problem yet again, she actually told our friend (and I quote): "The reason they have a carbon monoxide issue is because Americans cook differently than the Chinese. They don't use the exhaust fan." Considering that a) we always use the fan so we won't die from the fumes and b) our Chinese housekeeper cooks 90% of our meals- with the fan on of course- we didn't think that our landlords excuse for the problem was very good. At the end of the day, after multiple "maintenance" people have tromped in and out of our apartment and we have had 10 different opinions and reasons for the problem (yet no one seems to be able to fix it) we have finally decided to throw in the towel on this place. So look for photos of the new place soon.

Boy or girl?

It never ceases to amaze me that Chinese people are always asking if Grace is a girl. She has long hair and is normally in a dress yet we are constantly asked this question. Of course, they also ask about Audrey but you could understand the confusion (sort of) with a baby. In order to shed some light on this, you have to understand China's one child policy. Basically, since 1979 there has been a law that limits couples to one child in order to help slow the population growth. If you have more than one, bad things happen (large fines among other things). And in the Chinese culture, boys are expected to take care of their parents in old age and therefore, almost everyone here desires to have a son. So, when people see us with both of our children (already a novelty that we have two) they are always keen on whether they are boys or girls. We happily tell them that yes, indeed we do have two girls. Our response is always met with either a disapproving grunt or absolute silence which always makes us smile in amusement.

Anyway- check out below picture. It has nothing to do with boy vs. girl but I just liked it.

A young boy studying at his desk while the laundry is drying.

Picture this.

It takes forever to upload pics for the blog so here are a few fun ones we took around town:


Audrey eating (note the glob in her hair)


Construction workers hanging out in their boxers near our apartment.


A very cute area of Shanghai called Qiabo (this is where I took the duckhead pics). Notice the color of the very "clean" water here.


A bridge in Qiabo (this is what I thought China would look like before I got here).


A statue of a boy peeing - this was part of a larger budda statue but I thought this was more interesting than the rest.