Domestic air travel in China

I know, I know- I've been slacking on the blog. Thanks for the reminder Grandma! Anyway, I've been meaning to blog about this for a long time- domestic air travel within China. It is yet another culturally eye opening experience for most Westerners. Everything starts off innocently enough. Very routine- get in line to check in, check your bags, go through security. But then the fun begins. It usually goes something like this: Boarding announcement is made and there is a mad rush to the boarding doors. Sometimes, on a good day, a line will form but inevitably, several people will pretend that there is no line and just cut in front of everyone else. At the gate, not one but two airline employees will check your boarding pass. Then you are ushered onto a waiting bus to go out to your plane. Again, the usual China "area cram" ensues with as many people as possible being loaded onto the bus. Bus drives to plane. Bus doors open and there is a literal stampede to get to the plane. Come on people- everyone has a seat assigned- no need to push! At this point, there is no chance of a line, just a scrum of people fighting to get up the steps onto the plane. The group is held up by not one but two airline employees who once AGAIN check your boarding pass. If you are keeping count- that's four people who have now checked your boarding pass (I am convinced this goes back to the communist principle that everyone needs a job...but I digress).
Ok, on the plane now. If you have an aisle seat, the person in the window seat will not ask you to get up when they get into the row, they will simply climb over you. I am not making this stuff up, I swear! From here, it's pretty much normal except that there is often someone who gets up to go to the bathroom as we are taxing down the runway for take off. Oh, and also normally someone who tries to sneak a cigarette during the flight. And then you have the people who let their kids play video games at full volume with no headphones. And the TV monitors that come down from the ceiling have NO volume control so unless you have your ipod, you are forced to listen to a bunch of very annoying Chinese programming blasting during the entire flight.
And let's not forget about the guy in the next row who keeps hocking spit balls into a plastic bag (better than on the floor, I guess).
Finally, we descend for landing. Once again, someone will get up to go to the bathroom just minutes before we land. Then, the second we hit the ground, several people will stand up and try to get their baggage down. And, last but not least, my ultimate pet peeve. Once we arrive at the gate and the plane stops, everyone will try to squeeze into the aisle and push their way off the plane. If there is nowhere to go, they will just push up against you with all their strength in hopes that somehow, that will get the line moving. I finally learned how to say "please stand a little further from me" which I think will be a very useful phrase for the next time I fly within China! Is it any wonder that Sev and I usually need a drink the minute we get off the plane?